Vroom Vroom!!!

Peoria police are looking for a father suspected of running down his daughter because she was becoming too "westernized" and was not living according to their traditional Iraqi values.  And to prove I'm not making this story up, check out this quote from Fox News:

Peoria police are looking for a father suspected of running down his daughter because she was becoming too "westernized" and was not living according to their traditional Iraqi values.

See?  They're saying it's because she was too Western.  But let's think about it.  They're from Iraq.  Which I learned is in the Middle East.  Everything over there is like 20 years behind.  So picture the girl one on side of the living room, watching The Hills and having a Red Bull, and dad is sitting there on the other side, drinking a Crysal Pepsi and listening to this great new Hall and Oates tape, just lookin at her.  He didn't run her over because she was too Western.  He ran her over because he thought she was from the Goddamn future.  I don't blame him.   Probably saw Back to the Future on Beta for the first time and freaked out.  Poor guy.  Go back to the future, you crazy bitch.