The North Pole of Cocaine

So prosecutors Tuesday release this new lawsuit alleging that convicted ponzi schemer capitalist Bernie Madoff used a lot of the money he earned stole to pay for lots and lots of cocaine. I don’t really care about that, and I just sorta scanned this article until I found the words “North Pole.” That’s because prosecutors used that term to describe Madoff’s evil lair. Don’t believe me? Shame on you; I’m telling!! CNN!!!!

“The complaint alleges that some employees and investors were aware of the drug purchases, and that BMIS [Bernard Madoff Investment Services] was known by insiders as the "North Pole" in reference to the excessive amount of cocaine use”

The North Pole of cocaine? Well ok, but this completely changes Christmas. Poor kids are gonna wonder why Santa keeps licking his teeth and won’t just shut the hell up. All the kid wants to do is tell Santa he wants a toy truck, but Santa wants to talk about what his favorite zoo animal is, or what REALLY started the Korean War. They’re gonna wonder now why last year mommy and daddy left cookies and milk, this year it’s a pack of cigarettes and a Queen album.